Message #43078

[BlackRain]

I won't start feeling better for awhile. I haven't hadmore than four hours of sleep in any one attempt at it in over a month, and, as my journals said, my body and mind are starting to give out on me. Half the time, I can't focus, and my joints and muscles ache constantly.

The rift between us won't be repaired. Ever. Sometimes, I fantasize about hearing a car pull up in my driveway, and looking out to see her climbing out of her mum's truck to come see me. But it's not gonna happen, not again.

I agree with you when you say that reasonable discussion is the best way to fix things, but, as I've said before, if she gets upset, she's incapable of thinking logically, like we can. It... just **** sucks, really. She's admitted she does this herself.

You wouldn't believe how much I miss her...