Fenrir's Fangs

Part 3a

16.02.2011  21:10:45  Игорь  Vorakull  isn't it ironic, that my name is crazy hobo, yet I am one of the most docile members?
16.02.2011  21:11:18  Игорь  Vorakull  while a serious role player is a whacko?
16.02.2011  21:11:54  Vorakull  Игорь  Im probably the most serious of the roleplayers
16.02.2011  21:12:07  Игорь  Vorakull  you sure are
16.02.2011  21:12:10  Vorakull  Игорь  that woud make me King Whacko?
16.02.2011  21:12:12  Игорь  Vorakull  but your abcent
16.02.2011  21:12:15  Vorakull  Игорь  probably
16.02.2011  21:12:23  Игорь  Vorakull  no, I didn't mean to offend
16.02.2011  21:12:30  Vorakull  Игорь  haha
16.02.2011  21:12:34  Vorakull  Игорь  I didnt take any offense
16.02.2011  21:12:35  Игорь  Vorakull  I'm just saying, that a person that acts cool, is actually crazy deep inside
16.02.2011  21:13:03  Vorakull  Игорь  yes well
16.02.2011  21:13:51  Vorakull  Игорь  I may believe everyone is crazy, and a cool person may play a bit more with appareances
16.02.2011  21:14:07  Игорь  Vorakull  also true
16.02.2011  21:14:25  Игорь  Vorakull  I myself give in to whackiness when in a good mood
16.02.2011  21:16:07  Игорь  Vorakull  which has been happening a bit too often lately >_>
16.02.2011  21:16:28  Vorakull  Игорь  thats unusual
16.02.2011  21:16:37  Vorakull  Игорь  dont panic
16.02.2011  21:16:38  Vorakull  Игорь  enjoy
16.02.2011  21:16:45  Игорь  Vorakull  I try
16.02.2011  21:17:02  Игорь  Vorakull  though I have been subject to drastic mood changes in the recent months
16.02.2011  21:17:30  Игорь  Vorakull  I even recall one day, when I went from cheerful to suicidal in a matter of hours
16.02.2011  21:18:27  Vorakull  Игорь  I rememer those times
16.02.2011  21:18:43  Vorakull  Игорь  Im geting older
16.02.2011  21:18:50  Игорь  Vorakull  wait, you were thinking about suicide in the past?
16.02.2011  21:19:04  Vorakull  Игорь  so my madness is refined
16.02.2011  21:19:21  Vorakull  Игорь  Im maniac-depressive
16.02.2011  21:19:34  Игорь  Vorakull  isn't that strange?
16.02.2011  21:19:45  Vorakull  Игорь  my mind is so complex it tortures me
16.02.2011  21:19:55  Игорь  Vorakull  I always found you to be the most strong willed and inpirational person in the world, yet you were also subject to self hatred?
16.02.2011  21:20:06  Vorakull  Игорь  of course
16.02.2011  21:20:19  Vorakull  Игорь  havent you heard about Eros and Thanos?
16.02.2011  21:20:23  Игорь  Vorakull  no
16.02.2011  21:20:29  Игорь  Vorakull  not that I recall
16.02.2011  21:20:53  Vorakull  Игорь  well, those are the greek names for the god of life and the god of death
16.02.2011  21:21:02  Игорь  Vorakull  that I know
16.02.2011  21:21:10  Игорь  Vorakull  but I do not know the stories behind them
16.02.2011  21:21:14  Vorakull  Игорь  from those names derives the words erotic and thanatic
16.02.2011  21:21:26  Игорь  Vorakull  ok
16.02.2011  21:21:27  Vorakull  Игорь  (research)
16.02.2011  21:21:30  Vorakull  Игорь  anyway
16.02.2011  21:21:47  Vorakull  Игорь  the more intense one of those tendecies is
16.02.2011  21:22:06  Vorakull  Игорь  the more it sinercly nurses the other
16.02.2011  21:22:52  Игорь  Vorakull  and what does this have to do with hating oneself?
16.02.2011  21:23:10  Vorakull  Игорь  I thought it was obvious
16.02.2011  21:23:17  Vorakull  Игорь  I dont hate myself
16.02.2011  21:23:21  Vorakull  Игорь  I love myself
16.02.2011  21:23:30  Vorakull  Игорь  but I hate to be incarnated as human
16.02.2011  21:23:33  Vorakull  Игорь  I hate humankind
16.02.2011  21:23:39  Игорь  Vorakull  oh
16.02.2011  21:23:45  Игорь  Vorakull  so that's how it is?
16.02.2011  21:23:58  Vorakull  Игорь  Im waiting the zombies
16.02.2011  21:24:07  Vorakull  Игорь  I just want to be one of the last
16.02.2011  21:24:16  Vorakull  Игорь  to witness how everything dissapear
16.02.2011  21:24:32  Игорь  Vorakull  for what purpose?
16.02.2011  21:24:34  Vorakull  Игорь  my highest hope is extinction
16.02.2011  21:24:42  Игорь  Vorakull  what do you gain out of it?
16.02.2011  21:24:56  Vorakull  Игорь  freedom
16.02.2011  21:25:13  Игорь  Vorakull  and what use is this freedom?
16.02.2011  21:25:35  Vorakull  Игорь  theres no suffering
16.02.2011  21:25:51  Игорь  Vorakull  doesn't freemod breed loneliness?
16.02.2011  21:26:01  Игорь  Vorakull  *freedom
16.02.2011  21:26:35  Vorakull  Игорь  indeed, but you are still on this material plane point of view
16.02.2011  21:26:51  Vorakull  Игорь  try to imagine when nobody has a body
16.02.2011  21:27:20  Игорь  Vorakull  I imagine a floating gray mist
16.02.2011  21:28:07  Vorakull  Игорь  and your mind as such?
16.02.2011  21:28:13  Игорь  Vorakull  everywhere?
16.02.2011  21:28:15  Vorakull  Игорь  a mind with no need of words
16.02.2011  21:28:54  Vorakull  Игорь  I would never suicide myself
16.02.2011  21:29:01  Vorakull  Игорь  its the worst sin
16.02.2011  21:29:28  Vorakull  Игорь  but Im not afraid of dying through my learning route
16.02.2011  21:29:37  Игорь  Vorakull  but why is it the worst?
16.02.2011  21:30:17  Vorakull  Игорь  because you are personally interrupting your own "big plan"
16.02.2011  21:30:36  Игорь  Vorakull  and what if I have no "big plan"?
16.02.2011  21:30:45  Vorakull  Игорь  not you
16.02.2011  21:30:47  Vorakull  Игорь  YOU
16.02.2011  21:30:52  Игорь  Vorakull  ooooooh
16.02.2011  21:30:54  Vorakull  Игорь  behing you
16.02.2011  21:30:55  Игорь  Vorakull  the true self?
16.02.2011  21:30:59  Vorakull  Игорь  exactly
16.02.2011  21:31:05  Игорь  Vorakull  that's the whole point?
16.02.2011  21:31:29  Игорь  Vorakull  the true self is puppetering the me-self to do it's bidding?
16.02.2011  21:31:36  Vorakull  Игорь  right
16.02.2011  21:31:50  Игорь  Vorakull  and my only way to break free from his will is to kill myself?
16.02.2011  21:32:03  Vorakull  Игорь  nooooo
16.02.2011  21:32:13  Vorakull  Игорь  exactly the contrary
16.02.2011  21:32:20  Vorakull  Игорь  if you kill yourself
16.02.2011  21:32:22  Игорь  Vorakull  I'm giving in to his will that way?
16.02.2011  21:32:30  Vorakull  Игорь  your true self wont have choice
16.02.2011  21:32:42  Vorakull  Игорь  you must empty your self
16.02.2011  21:33:01  Vorakull  Игорь  to become your real self
16.02.2011  21:33:15  Игорь  Vorakull  and how do you empty your self?
16.02.2011  21:33:24  Vorakull  Игорь  he is your maximun potential
16.02.2011  21:33:42  Vorakull  Игорь  yourself on "angel mode"
16.02.2011  21:34:05  Vorakull  Игорь  you empty yourself disciplining your mind to silence the voices
16.02.2011  21:34:25  Vorakull  Игорь  when you hush all the voices in your head
16.02.2011  21:34:32  Vorakull  Игорь  youll be one with your superself
16.02.2011  21:35:02  Игорь  Vorakull  I often hear voices of my dreams, of people I find interesting, of girls I want to have sex with. those are the voices, that must be silented?
16.02.2011  21:36:05  Vorakull  Игорь  those, and your parent voices, and the voices of all the people youve met, and the people you imagine you could met, and the voices that sounds like your own
16.02.2011  21:36:17  Vorakull  Игорь  your head is a constant chaotic party
16.02.2011  21:36:24  Игорь  Vorakull  it sure is
16.02.2011  21:36:31  Vorakull  Игорь  make them hush when you want
16.02.2011  21:36:41  Vorakull  Игорь  find the interruptor, the switch
16.02.2011  21:36:52  Игорь  Vorakull  and that's why we must meditate?
16.02.2011  21:37:05  Vorakull  Игорь  exactly
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