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Posted by: Twilightpersona« on: March 30, 2012, 05:44:08 am »I believe I understand what you mean rain. For example you would prefer something like this right?:
In the midst of the firefight Persona's dark brown hair was waving dramatically due to the harsh winds at the battlefield. Posted by: BlackRain« on: March 30, 2012, 04:52:21 am »I prefer to do the descriptions on the fly, honestly. Describe the characters bit by bit in the middle of scenes and the like, instead of taking time out of the story telling to describe these people.
Posted by: Twilightpersona« on: March 30, 2012, 04:15:12 am »Well I could add it in their later in some way. Actually that gives me an idea.....
Posted by: Parone92« on: March 30, 2012, 03:58:51 am »No, the character dialogue was good in my opinion, but you could add more character description.
(Example: what does Igor and Albel look like in the story?) Posted by: Twilightpersona« on: March 30, 2012, 03:50:42 am »Yeah I understand.... maybe I'll try to find a way to advance the story with less character dialogue.
Posted by: Parone92« on: March 30, 2012, 03:48:28 am »It's a good story man, i can get into reading it. The only thing that needs improvement is the character development.
Posted by: Twilightpersona« on: March 30, 2012, 03:44:03 am »OK this is for you all to tell me how terrible of a job I am doing or not. Don't hold back I would prefer you to be honest and not just keep it to yourselves and secretly hate me or something. If you don't like something let me know I'll try to do better and fix it. I'm not going to waste my time and yours by making stupid excuses.
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