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Posted by: Superchaos2585
« on: February 11, 2011, 03:02:27 pm » Haha! CLASSIC! I hate when that stuff happens. Only things that were kinda messed up in translation would be:
"A white gazebo was standing in the middle of a beautiful park on a warm summer evening." that should probably be some thing like " On a warm summer evening, there stood a white gazebo in the middle of a beautiful park." So, order changed a bit and standing to stood.
Also, the translation switched from the past tense to the present tense a lot. It should stay as one or the other. Probably the past tense would be better.
"It was obvious, that the time for kissing had came" came should be "come" in this case.
"...table to brag his cell phone" is "brag" supposed to be "grab"?
"He turns off the alarm clock..." The alarm is coming from his phone right? if so, you need only to write "alarm", because it's coming from the phone, not a clock.
Beside these errors, the translation was spot on, very good! I'm looking forward to reading more.
"A white gazebo was standing in the middle of a beautiful park on a warm summer evening." that should probably be some thing like " On a warm summer evening, there stood a white gazebo in the middle of a beautiful park." So, order changed a bit and standing to stood.
Also, the translation switched from the past tense to the present tense a lot. It should stay as one or the other. Probably the past tense would be better.
"It was obvious, that the time for kissing had came" came should be "come" in this case.
"...table to brag his cell phone" is "brag" supposed to be "grab"?
"He turns off the alarm clock..." The alarm is coming from his phone right? if so, you need only to write "alarm", because it's coming from the phone, not a clock.
Beside these errors, the translation was spot on, very good! I'm looking forward to reading more.